Children will often share their stories in their play. As a counsellor I witness their story and reflect on feelings they are expressing or describe what I see them doing.
Children may not know what they are feeling is angry but when they bash a teddy bear or punch a balloon then I can suggest that they look angry, sometimes they will say yes and are able to explain more or they name a different feeling. In this way they learn the words for emotions and start to recognise what others see and hear when they act in a particular way.
Finding safe ways to express big emotions is an important part of the learning in sessions. Being able to communicate what they are feeling means they are more likely to get their needs met and less likely to lash out drawing the wrong kind of response from others.
When a child comes to a session and is in a high state of arousal (angry, upset, anxious etc.) I find asking them to blow bubbles helps them to calm down: When we are in the fight/flight mode we take in lots of oxygen in order to get our muscles ready to fight or run and the adrenaline pumps through us speeding up our heart beat and giving us a lot of energy. Blowing/breathing out lessens the intake of oxygen and calms the whole fight/flight response triggered in our brain and bodies.
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