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I believe that always trying to be positive can be toxic but then so can always being negative! I started reading a book called coffee self-talk for a number of reasons. One reason was that I, once again, was trying to break my habit of a coffee and a cigarette first thing in the mornings. Now I read a bit of this amazing book, (please note every book I read is amazing!) and find positive things to say to my brain.
I hadn't realised how many of the things I tell myself are from old scripts, welllllllll outdated and not very supportive of the goals I have been trying to set for myself. For example, if I tell myself I don't want to get up then I don't want to get up, my brain heard me and does as I instruct it.
Making up a more positive script for myself (my brain) is helping me to keep focused on what I do want to achieve rather than the obstacles. Already I feel the difference and I haven't been doing this for that long, just over a couple of weeks! Even just noticing the negative things I tell myself helps me to think about whether they are true or not. Automatic thinking from the past that was useful and protected me at the time is now obsolete and often getting in my way.
I am enjoying becoming my own cheerleader, which frees more of my energy because I am not hunting for outside valuation half as much either. The evidence that I am getting closer to my goals is the fact that I am still reaching for them and even if I don't quite make it then I can still learn and have fun in the process of trying. Spending time, just five minutes, on thinking and speaking more positively is already having a good effect on me and I look forward to feeling and achieving more!
