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Boundaries please!

I saw something today that, again, made me sigh with a kind of sadness. A parent claiming their child is their best friend and it made me wonder who is their parent then? Am I missing something? Surely the role of a parent is different to the role of a friend?


I hope that my relationship with my grown up children is one where I would be considered a friend as well as their Mother but I was most definitely not their friend when they were small. I had boundaries to set, which helped to contain them (not perfectly guys because that would be a ridiculous claim), boundaries that , I hope, made them feel safe with me. Boundaries that, when they reached adolescence, they could push against without them giving way.


Okay I wasn't a perfect parent and if I am judging anyone it is most likely myself. I see, in hindsight, there were some gaps in my boundary and containment strategies. I learned more about the importance of boundaries and being a container for children when I trained to be a therapist, and my memory of my parenting may have a slight rose tint on it but I wish I had understood the importance of boundaries for children better when I was in the throes of parenting so I thought I would share a link I found that explains why boundaries are important. I hope someone finds it helpful :-)

https://families.barnardos.org.uk/pre-school/routines-boundaries






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