Hindsight is sometimes a shame making thing. When I first had children I followed the rules I had learned from my own up bringing, I had five children by the time I started training as a counsellor and began to see that parenting could be done differently. I am not saying my parents were bad people, because they weren't and aren't, they were raising me as they had been taught and doing their best. What I learned as I gained more knowledge and experience is that there were other ways and that I had choices about how I raised my children and who I wanted to be as a parent.
I am still learning even though my children are grown and sometimes, in hindsight, I wish I had known more when my children were smaller. I have forgiven myself for not knowing better and refer back to a saying from Maya Angelou : “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
There are many ways to discipline, set boundaries and to be loving etc. and this knowledge is what makes me so keen to share some of the knowledge I have gained through being a parent and a counsellor. I did not realise I had other choices and when I did I feel I gained a whole new world of ways to connect with my children, I think that is one of the biggest gifts life has given me!